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Legal Questions and Answers

Author: Junk Cars Cash

November 8, 2010

Legal Questions and Answers

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Home Page > Law > Legal Questions and Answers

Legal Questions and Answers

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Posted: Oct 29, 2009 |Comments: 0

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An auto parts salvaging yard is implemented to store and scrap cars that are old, unused or in poor condition. These establishments will place these unused automobiles in neatly organized rows for optimum efficiency. Machines are often incorporated in the process to flatten these vehicles to make them more compact for better storage. In the case where there are functioning parts remaining on the car being scrapped they may be removed for resale. In recent times cars that are stored are inventoried on a computer to improve the detection and organization of these vehicles.

The parts that are taken out include the more superficial parts like the headlights, mirrors, tail lights, blinkers and so on. If these are in in fairly good condition then they may be resold. The more essential parts like the transmission and engine may be purchased by car manufacturers who may recondition the parts and sell it with a special warranty. Some older cars are maintained to satisfy classical car enthusiasts. Because these older car parts are normally no longer manufactured, salvage yards may turn a fair profit from the sale of these rare parts.

Alabama is not different from most other states. It also boasts a productive auto parts salvaging industry. Most junk yards or wreck yards usually accommodate a useful salvaging practice. However for any salvaging yard to operate within this or any other state proper licensing by the associated state authorities is essential. If an individual is interested in obtaining parts from a salvaging yard and lives in Alabama, then he or she may simply search online which has a vast listing of many salvage yards that operate in the state. It is important that any individual interested in acquiring parts from a salvage yard shop around to locate the best deals.

If you’d like to get a great deal on a quality used auto parts, simply find a salvage yard closest to you and give them a call or you can fill out a part request. Get more information on Alabama Auto Parts Salvaging

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What is the best benzoyl peroxide cream?

Author: Junk Cars Cash

November 5, 2010

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refrigerator repair

Author: Junk Cars Cash

November 4, 2010

Refrigerators are the most used, least troublesome of all appliances. Yet they have plenty of potential trouble areas. It is a minor miracle of technology that they cause so few complaints. Appliance repair is something you should expect and be prepared for.
In most modern refrigerators, the compressor and motor are sealed with no exposed moving parts. Lubrication is provided continuously. The motors usually are of a type that has a startup winding which cuts out when running speed is attained, and the running winding takes over. An overload and a relay switch, in a separate, serviceable compartment, complete the motor’s electrical equipment.
Refrigeration systems in modern refrigerators have the sealed-in compressor, which is a pump for converting low-pressure gas to high-temperature, high- pressure gas. Then, by way of the condenser, the resultant heat is removed to the air outside the refrigerator. These functions cause refrigeration to occur.
A heat exchanger, consisting of a capillary tube and suction line, is another component. The exchanger serves to regulate and assist in cooling.
The evaporator, another link in refrigeration, consists of a cooling plate in the fresh food compartment and an evaporator in the freezing compartment. It helps regulate correct, different temperatures in the various chambers of the refrigerator.
Any major breakdown of a refrigerator — either compressor or motor — requires service you cannot perform at home. Usually, and unless the guarantee remains in effect, you will be forced to buy anew one, unless the shop makes you an offer you can’t refuse — such as a guaranteed compressor-motor unit for much less than the new refrigerator, and the refrigerator is one you are reluctant to junk. We’ll discuss replacing the unit below.
Refrigerator life should be between 15 and 20 years. What goes wrong before then is usually nothing more than an occasional broken part—a shelf latch or compartment clip or runner — or other purely mechanical disabilities. Electrical problems are often traceable to power sources that are inadequate to run the motor- compressor. If there is a voltage drop below 110 volts, this could cause the motor to fail. If the line is overloaded, the refrigerator’s starting could trip the circuit breaker or blow a fuse.
Major problems sometimes can be understood by listening for certain noises. In low voltage, the starting; relay switch will click in and out, giving a “chattering” effect. The contacts open and close rapidly. If the motor begins and runs briefly, then stops, this could mean relay problems. A rapid “click, click” sequence when the motor begins probably means a short circuit in the winding. Motor hum followed by a clicking noise also involves the winding (coil) of the motor. None of these problems can be repaired at home, but you will at least know what is involved.
Replacing lights and light switches can be done by you. The door switch that controls the light is held either by a screw or a tension spring. In the latter case, it simply pulls out.
But if you open the door and no lights come on, in a refrigerator with more than one light, you know that the problem is not in the switches or anything else inside the refrigerator, but in the power supply. (If it has only one light that could be burned out.)
If you open the door and the light does come on, but the refrigerator doesn’t work and the freezer compartment shows signs of melting, you know that the problem is in the motor or its switch. Look first at the control dial (thermostat). Some dials are placed in a position that exposes them to inadvertent movement merely from using the refrigerator — you can brush against the dial and turn it off.
If the dial is on, however, the chances are that you have nothing more than a defective relay switch that controls the motor, or it can be the thermostat itself, or a defective overload device that protects the motor but is itself vulnerable.
The starting relay is a magnetic switch with the coil connected into the running winding of the motor. When electricity flows, the magnetic coil pulls up the relay plunger and the movement closes the starting contacts of the motor. Since the relay switch has moving parts, as well as a coil winding, it is doubly vulnerable — over the long haul; relays are basically sturdy components.
Relay switches may be found close to the motor but in a separate housing for purposes of accessibility (in some models). They may also be found in the motor compartment, mounted near or at the motor housing. The switch has various configurations, but the fact that it has a circular coil around a magnet may be deceiving since the housing rarely is circular. Typically the relay and overload protector will be in the same box since both of them control motor starting and running.
The relay housing should be removable, even when it is attached to a sealed compressor and motor. It will be held by a screw or set of screws, and you may actually be able to see it at the bottom of the refrigerator, in the rear. You will, of course, have to move the refrigerator out from the wall.
A relay switch is replaced by one with the same capacity, expressed in horsepower. If you can’t buy an identical make, you can use one with the same capacity. They are inexpensive and easy to replace. If the electrical posts don’t have identical characteristics, ask how to resolve the differences. Often the leads are color-coded, but if you remove the relay, it is important to mark the leads so that you don’t mix them up.
That illustration also shows the two-wire overload protector, which is a heat-sensitive device that turns off power to the motor-compressor when the motor runs hot. What causes that? It could be the motor, with the usual electric motor problems, or it could be the compressor dragging the motor.
It is well to have both relay and overload protector tested at the same time. One must suspect that some-thing is wrong with the motor when the overload protector is not functioning, but that is not necessarily the case. So the best course is to have both relay and overload protector tested.
If the relay and overload protector test out to be in shape, and no cooling is taking place, you are faced with a failure of the motor-compressor, assuming that the thermostat inside the fresh food compartment also tests out to be working. That means a new refrigerator is in the cards. It is rare that a replacement motor- compressor is worth buying, unless you are especially fond of the refrigerator and are satisfied that the rest of the components are in working order and you are willing to do the replacement job yourself. (More of that below.)
If the overload protector and relay test good, and there is some but not adequate cooling, or the compressor overheats and is shut off by the overload protector, it doesn’t automatically mean that the motor-compressor is worn out. One further possibility involves the way you use the refrigerator: if the compressor and condenser don’t get enough air circulation, overheating can result; if you put too much warm food in the refrigerator, the overload will respond and turn off the motor; and overheating can cause the overload protector to trip open repeatedly in response to temperature variations.
The cure for too much warm food is obvious enough. Also, it is well not to put too much food in the fresh food compartment, generally, in contrast with the freezer compartment which should be kept more or less full.
Insufficient air circulation around the compressor is caused mostly by dirt around it. Regular cleaning is the usual answer, unless the refrigerator is in a position where it is unable to get ventilation.
In some cases the thermostat needs adjustment to achieve proper cooling throughout.
First, use a thermometer in various parts of the refrigerator. The fresh food compartment should be around 37°F (5°C), give or take a few. The freezer should be about 0°F (-20°C), again give or take a few degrees. It should be noted that temperatures in a refrigerator are in part a reflection of temperatures outside it — that is, extreme heat outside the refrigerator will inevitably add heat inside it, especially if the refrigerator is used a lot. So you should take the refrigerator’s temperature in the morning before it has been used.
If the refrigerator Seems to be working but not cooling adequately, it could be that the thermostat needs adjusting. To do that, pull out the plug, remove the dial from the thermostat by pulling it off (or releasing a setscrew that holds it in some makes). Behind the dial there will be a hole with an adjustment screw. Turn the screw counterclockwise just a small amount — from l/18th to l/16th of an inch. That should lower operating temperatures one or two degrees, by extending the operating time of the compressor per cycle. If this adjustment doesn’t change the operating temperature satisfactorily, the problem lies elsewhere. The next place to look is at the gasket—around the rim of the door. The usual test is to pull a dollar bill out of the closed door from a half dozen places. If you can pull the bill out of a closed door easily, that means air is getting in and out at that point. Examine the spot. You can be confident that if there is one such spot there are others.
The most obvious cure is a new gasket. Sometimes the door itself has gotten off center. Doors have adjustments, but they are tricky. Door adjustment is indicated when an entire section of the door seems to be pulled away from the cabinet with the clear evidence that a new gasket won’t make a correcting difference.
Mechanical adjustments on the door alignment often can be avoided simply by leveling the refrigerator properly. Leveling adjustments can be found in the legs. A good test of a smooth gasket seal is to measure the amount of gasket compression when the door is closed — it should be up to 16th inch, but no more.
The first thing to do with a cabinet whose gasket isn’t sealing properly is to turn out the handle side front levelers — if the distortion is a toe-out direction — or turning in the handle side front leveler to correct a toe-in distortion. But if that doesn’t cure the problem, you have a much more elaborate set of adjustments. These require loosening all the inner panel mounting screws along the top, bottom, and handle side of the door (but not along the hinge side).
Mechanical and other nonelectrical problems of refrigerator repair are outside the scope of this book, but the door alignment problem is not much more than any trial-and-error job — it isn’t like wheel alignment on a car.
Refrigeration is an entirely separate technology from motors, even though the motive power is electrical and the controls often touch electricity. Any faults in a refrigerator that cannot be cured by attention to switches and the processes described above must be cured by the techniques of refrigeration or with a new refrigerator. Given the cost of replacing a motor- compressor and other expensive components in the cooling system, most people will buy a new refrigerator.
Also, because the motor is sealed into the compartment that contains the compressor, it does not lend itself easily to repair in case the compressor remains in working order. But you can replace the entire unit yourself, and if you are willing it suddenly makes sense to save the refrigerator, since much of the replacement cost when performed by professionals is installation labor (and of that labor, taking out the old motor-compressor is the hardest part, usually).
So, if you have such symptoms as a compressor that won’t cool properly, with all cooling surfaces covered by a thin layer of frost, it is probable that you need a new compressor. Warning: this symptom is also the same as a refrigerant leak and that’s unfortunately something very hard to track down, though it can be done. Here’s how:
A refrigerant leak can occur virtually anywhere in the cooling system, including the least accessible parts of it. This means not only the tubing in the rear portion, which you can usually see (unless it is boxed in), but also the buried tubing and components. Let us agree, however, that with many modern refrigerators the task of exposing the potential leaking parts means undertaking a kind of search and destroy mission that many people simply won’t consider, because it requires elaborate cutting away of housing compartments. Older refrigerators aren’t so completely sealed in. In these cases you can remove the motor and compressor, as well as the condenser from the machine, in one fell swoop by pushing the refrigerator out from the wall and unscrewing the panels that contain these components. But without removing anything beyond covering panels, you can do a lot of testing for leaks with soapy water. Simply brush a solution of soap powder and water over anything that looks the least bit suspicious, and over anything you can reach without major excavation.
You are seeking Freon gas leaks; bubbles in the soapy water brushed on any part are proof of a leak. To repair a leak, use any epoxy-type preparation, or inquire about the best product your hardware store sells. You will be asked what kind of metal and it will usually be aluminum tubing; for example, the capillary tube which is a long, thin (l/8th- inch diameter) piece of tubing between the condenser and the cooling plate. There are many other possible leak spots. The accompanying illustrations show the layout of parts and tubes of a typical Montgomery Ward refrigerator (Signature). This recent model type is mostly sealed in, but it reflects components and tubing in older models, as well as new. Refrigeration technology changes slowly; change is almost entirely cosmetic.
The evaporator may well be the element most exposed to Freon leaks because it lies directly behind and/or above the freezer compartment (or between freezer and fresh food compartments) where it can receive blows from ice picks and knives during defrosting by hand or other ice removal. Or it may receive less calculated blows.
Some modern refrigerators also have components such as precooler coils, which are part of a special compressor system that also includes a condenser loop. These components aid in the cooling process by removing defrost water; they are at the bottom in Montgomery Ward models. Also, larger refrigerators may have multiple condensing units in order to transfer more heat from the high temperature Freon gas to the outside air. The more space in a refrigerator, the more heat there will be picked up in the Freon gas.
Leaks are possible not only in the aluminum tubing and the aluminum evaporator but also in copper tubing. Copper must be soldered and requires a rather skilled technique and special solder. If the leak is in the copper tubing which flows into the condenser, the problem is compounded by the different metals — the steel of the condenser and the copper. Heat must be on the copper only to avoid damage to the condenser, which is of rather delicate steel. When soldering on copper tubing, heat is applied to the copper until the solder flows from contact with the heated copper — you do not turn the flame on the solder itself. It’s like soldering joints in copper water pipes; the solder extracts the heat from the copper surface, which it then seals by flowing into any cracks.
Any components, including the motor and compressor, can be replaced on refrigerator. The cost of replacing a component yourself can be judged in relation to your area labor charges for such work. Then you have to figure what your own time is worth or how much it means to you to salvage an appliance.
Refrigerator repair work is highly specialized and expensive, and even if you manage to find a leak in the system, and repair it, you still have the problem of removing air from the system and refilling it with Freon gas.
If you are willing, you can, but you need highly specialized equipment — a valve for purging and for charging the system, a gauge, and a cylinder of Freon gas. Because these are not commonly circulating components, you may have a problem finding them. Also, the skills to use them won’t translate readily into other home repair situations where the most that is usually required is how to use a wrench or screwdriver. This homiletic advice is not presented to frighten you, but merely to keep relevant data in focus. If you decide to go ahead and repair a refrigerator that isn’t cooling properly, you must be forewarned that replacement of the motor and compressor is not the only issue, and in some cases even that won’t be possible for you to do unless you are willing to undertake a multiphased operation involving special skills (those cases in which access requires cutting away of compartment metals and tubing lines).

All American Smart Appliance repair company. Decades of experience.

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A Secret Women Know That Men Don’t

Author: Junk Cars Cash

November 2, 2010

I’d like to tell you a story…

It’s a story that you might find strangely familiar. Don’t be
alarmed.

Once upon a time, there was a man who was very attracted to a
particular woman.

At first, she was just another attractive woman… but the more
he got to know her, the more he began to feel attracted to
her… and the more time he spent with her, the more that
attraction grew into a deep emotional attachment and affection
for her.

But there was one problem.

As his emotional attachment grew stronger and stronger, he also
grew more and more insecure.

Why?

Because he couldn’t tell whether or not she felt the same way
towards him.

Sometimes she would say things like “You are so important to me”
and “I’m glad that you’re in my life”… but nothing ever
progressed past the “friendship” stage.

There was an occasional hug, an occasional kiss on the cheek
from her… and once she even held his hand for a long time
while he talked about an emotional issue.

But something was wrong with the picture.

She just wasn’t acting like a woman that was “falling in love”.
She was acting like a friend.

The insecurity that he felt became a spiral that amplified
itself… and the more insecure he became, the more afraid he
grew of “screwing things up” by kissing her or asking her to be
his girlfriend.

Plus, the more insecure he became, the less time she seemed to
want to spend with him.

After spending many days and nights obsessing over this girl,
the man finally arrived at the conclusion that if she only knew
how HE FELT, that she would feel the same way.

So he made a bold move.

He TOLD HER how he was felt.

He confessed that he was in love, and that he would do anything
to be with her.

She looked at him with compassion in her eyes and said “Thank
you… I really mean that… but I don’t want to mess up our
friendship… you’re too important to me…”.

This only confused the man more.

He didn’t know how to take it…

Did it mean that she really loved him too, but that she was
afraid of something?

Did it mean that she wasn’t ready for a long-term relationship?

Did it mean that she didn’t love him, but that she was trying to
give him a hint?

Did it mean that he hadn’t tried hard enough?

Did it mean that he needed to put everything on the line and
REALLY let her know how he felt?

He finally decided that he couldn’t go on like this anymore…
he had to be with her.

He had to make sure that she knew just how much he wanted to be
with her… so he took a big step, bought her a symbolic gift,
and wrote her a long, long letter… again confessing his
feelings.

And then the unthinkable happened.

She didn’t reply.

He called her three times a day for almost a week before
reaching her.

She made an excuse about being very busy, and said “I’ll try to
give you a call soon, I have to go”… and hung up…

….but he never got a call back.

Over the following months, the man tried desperately to
understand what went wrong… and what happened.

THE END

OK, I’m back.

Now, wasn’t that a sweet story?

Heart warming, huh?

I know, I should keep my day job, and not take up writing
romance novels…

Now, let’s talk about that story.

That story is basically a MYTH.

And I’m not talking about FICTION here.

I’m talking about a story that rings true for a great majority
of men. A story that is timeless. A story that resonates at a
deep level because you can IDENTIFY with it.

And why does this particular story resonate for most men?

Because we’ve all been there in one way or another… at one
time or another… and many of us have been there OFTEN in our
lives.

Another thing that gives this particular story a lot of power is
the powerful negative emotions that it stirs… as a result of
the powerful negative experiences that it reminds us of…

Stories and situations like this one really FASCINATE me.

They fascinate me because I see them as an opportunity to
UNDERSTAND and SOLVE the puzzles that they represent.

In this particular situation I think there is a solution.

And it lies in understanding a secret that women know but MEN
DON’T.

And that secret comes down to the reality that if a woman isn’t
ATTRACTED to a man, all of his attempts to confess his love,
convince her to like him, and court her BACKFIRE.

In other words, they not only DON’T WORK, they actually make
things WORSE.

In other words, the very things that a man does to try to make a
woman LIKE HIM make her NOT like him. They make her run.

All those great intentions and emotional dedication actual cause
the man feeling them to do things that make her go away.

It sucks.

And I hope that by explaining the process of how this happens to
you I’ll help you avoid this painful situation in your own
future…

THE “INSTANT EWWW”

I’m always fascinated by the idea that we humans don’t always
understand the message that we’re communicating to others…

So often we think that because we WANT to communicate a message
that others are going to NATURALLY understand what we’re trying
to say.

Have you ever seen a guy in a foreign car that has wheels on it
that cost more than the car itself… with his stereo
blasting… and a muffler that somehow AMPLIFIES the raw sound
of the 4-cylinder motor…?

Have you ever thought to yourself “I don’t think that car is
communicating the message to women that he thinks it is”…?

Yea, I have too.

Well here’s the deal:

If you do something to “let a woman know how you feel”… but
she isn’t ATTRACTED to you, then it’s going to backfire.

It’s going to trigger a feeling that like to call the “Instant
Ewww”.

The Instant Ewww is just as powerful as the physical and
emotional response of ATTRACTION.

Once a woman feels it, YOU’RE DONE.

It’s over.

It’s like hammering a RAILROAD SPIKE into the coffin.

Once a woman feels the Instant Ewww, she will start behaving
differently.

In short, she’ll disappear.

So where did I get the concept of the “Instant Ewww”?

I got it from WOMEN.

I have actually heard SEVERAL women use the word “Ewww” when
describing how they felt about a guy that was “confessing his
love”… of course, these were guys that weren’t loved in return.

So what causes the Instant Ewww?

And why would a woman feel it towards a man who was trying to be
nice… a guy who was giving her a gift or telling her how he
feels?

Because if you think about it from HER perspective, you’ll
realize that the moment a you do something to “confess”, you
have created a TURNING POINT in the relationship.

Up until that point, you were harmless.

I mean, women always know how men feel.

She already knew you wanted her.

She knew it from the beginning.

But now that you’ve started pursuing her and talking about how
you feel, you’ve created a NEGATIVE TENSION that is VERY
uncomfortable.

You’ve triggered an emotion that is repulsive to women. And it
does repel them.

In summary…

You can’t “make a woman like you” or “change how she feels about
you” by doing nice things for her…

Doing “nice” things for a woman who isn’t attracted to you HURTS
you. It backfires. Worse, it creates the “Instant Ewww” feeling
that makes it so she’ll NEVER like you.

Men make this mistake over and over again in life because
they’re doing what MAKES SENSE to them. They’re doing it because
they don’t have an understanding of ATTRACTION.

I mean, If you have a friend, and you like them, and you want to
make them like you more… and you do some nice thing for them,
they will probably like you more.

On the other hand…

If you have a woman that you “like” in a romantic way, and she
doesn’t “feel it” for you, and you do something nice for her
because you want HER to like you more, it will BACKFIRE… and
she will not only NOT like you more, she will most likely
distance herself from you.

Guys think that they need to communicate when they like a
woman… as if that’s part of the necessary process of getting a
girl.

In their minds, it goes like this:

Like her>Tell her you like her>She likes you

Well remember… if you follow this pattern yourself with women
who aren’t ATTRACTED to you, then it’s going to BACKFIRE.

If she’s not into you, then it goes like THIS:

She thinks of you as a friend>You tell her you like her>She gets
the “Instant Ewwws” and never wants to be around you again…

THE ANSWER

There are really TWO answers to this problem.

The first answer is what to do if you’re in a situation where
you like a particular girl, but you don’t know if she likes you
back.

DON’T GET HEAVY WITH HER.

Don’t buy her a big gift and write a love letter…

Don’t send her ten dozen roses to her work with a not that says
“From your secret admirer”.

Don’t call her three times a day.

And DON’T CONFESS YOUR LOVE for her.

If you want to know how she feels about you, KISS HER (and use
“The Kiss Test” that you learned on my website and in my book).

As a rule of thumb, don’t get heavier than HER. Use SIGNALS from
her to find out how she feels… and if you don’t know how to
read and create those signals, then LEARN.

Asking a woman if she’s interested in your in a romantic way, or
if you are “her type” will actually DESTROY the chances that
she’ll like you.

Really.

The SECOND answer is to not get into this particular situation
in the FIRST PLACE. Avoid it entirely.

And how does one do that?

One does that by creating ATTRACTION from the beginning.

One does that by understanding the dynamics of how and why women
have the physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION triggered.

One does that by knowing what you’re doing FROM THE BEGINNING.

And what’s the best way to learn THAT skill?

I thought you’d never ask…

The very best way to learn how to make women feel ATTRACTION for
you is to get yourself a copy of my eBook, Double Your Dating.

I’ve spent several years now studying the ways that men who are
“naturals” communicate using their words, voice tone, and body
language that makes them MAGNETIC to women.

And I’ll tell you… it’s not magic.

You don’t have to be rich, handsome, or young.

And you don’t have to be LUCKY.

What you DO have to do is LEARN.

It’s a skill, and I honestly believe that ANY man can learn it
if he wants.

But you’re not likely to figure it out by “trial and error”.
Many of the keys to making women feel ATTRACTION aren’t
“obvious” at all.

In fact, many of them make no sense… and they’re the LAST
thing you’d do in a particular situation if you didn’t know the
SECRETS.

I’m telling you, this book will show you the way. I guarantee
that this program will INSTANTLY change how you behave around
women.

And it will start getting you results IMMEDIATELY.

In addition, I’d also like to invite you to sign up for my free
dating tips newsletter.

It’s free, there’s no obligation, I’ll never share your email
address with anyone, and you can easily remove yourself anytime
with no hassles (and no, I’ll never pull any of these tricks
where I send you a bunch of unwanted junk email when you try to
remove yourself).

It’s JAM PACKED with dozens and dozens of specific strategies
for overcoming fear, approaching women, getting phone numbers
and email address from women quickly, great inexpensive or even
free date ideas, and advice on how to take things to a
“physical” level smoothly and easily

David DeAngelo writes for Singles Dating
247.com – If you are single and looking for love then this
is the site for you. Articles, Reviews and Links to the best
sites on the Internet and the DrDating Forum – a forum
for people looking for help in love, relationships and dating.

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The Theory of Skin Care

Author: Junk Cars Cash

November 1, 2010

“Like anyone else, there are days I feel beautiful and days I don’t, and when I don’t, I do something about it.” Cheryl Tiegs, O Magazine, May 2004
US actress & model

There is no magic wand which will help get rid of all imperfections immediately, but you can improve your skin a lot using somo knowledge. First of all the principle of fighting age signs is to choose the right target. There are two huge weak points – slow skin cell regeneration and thickening of the top skin layer. Let me explain how the skin works. Our skin looks as key lime pie does.The top layer, called the epidermis, isn’t very thick. The epidermis is what is actually visible. At the bottom of this layer sits basal cells. They lay in the nourishing intercellular “soup” delivered to them by our capillary system. Every living creature produces some sort of solution through metabolism which flushes away the sewage under the skin – lymphatic system. These are live cells which divide all the time, letting one cell to travel up to the surface and the other one remains for future reproduction. The cell’s journey to the skins surface takes approximately 28 days. These cells, which are filled with intercellular fluid, undergo some drastic changes while getting further and further from home. The cell changes from a living one to a dead one with a hard shell – keranocite.These hard flat cells are the very top protective layer of our skin. Eventually they fall off and are washed away during our usual skin care routine. As the cell travels its shape changes from a puffy square to a hard flat appearance. When you look at the skin through a microscope you can see the distinctive layers of different shaped cells. Normally these layers have a certain thickness according to the time needed for the cell to pass each changing stage. With age this process changes and the layers of the cells are no longer even. The bottom layers of living cells gets thinner and the top layer of dead cells gets thicker.This abnormality causes the aged look of our skin. Thick top layers begin to fold which we see as wrinkles. The middle layer of our skin-pie is the dermis. This layer is much thicker because it houses all capillaries, the lymphatic system, sebaceous glands, hair follicles, nerves and others. This layer is reinforced with collagen and elastin fibers. The cells which are responsible for this fiber production are called fibroblasts. The production cycle of the collagen fiber is about 15 days (T1/2). Everyone has heard about collagen and how important it is for our skin. The main function of collagen is to create a strong, flexible frame which is the “floor” for the upper layer. When it is firm and stretched flat is gives a young, smooth appearance to our skin. But unfortunately with age the collagen production drops.Not only does the collagen production slow down with age but the percentage of old collagen continues to increase or build up. Normally collagen which has grown older and has lost its flexibility gets destroyed by “wiper” – ferment collagenaza. This ferment recognizes and processes old collagen fibers and then redirects what is left as a building material. But sometimes collagen fibers undergo changes that make them unrecognizable for the “wiper”. With age we have more and more these bad “leftovers” which are not replaced by new collagen. Together with slower collagen production this makes the most important part of the collagen carcase – the top flexible membrane (basal membrane)- sag in the places where the skin folds have been created. These sagging depressions are actual wrinkle formations. And finally the bottom layer of our pie, the crust, is the gypodermis. It is formed by fat cells – our storage supplies. This layer varies over our entire body. You can see the “extra cells” over certain parts of the body such as our hips, belly, etc…we know these areas well – they are prone to cellulite, which is caused by changes in this specific layer. So, let’s look around again and point out the problems.

Rule number ONE – Exfoliate.

Looking at the very top we see the thick dead cell layer which looks exactly like a junk yard, where old cars discarded one on top of the other. Old cells, glued together, form an uneven layer which isn’t able to reflect light – what we see is skin that is gray, dull and lacking natural glow. There are temporary remedies such as filling the hollows between cells. Creams with a substance such as lipids, applied to the skin will let the surface reflect light much better. That is why the skin looks much smoother and fresher after we’ve applied these creams. The other decorative method is to apply “decorative cosmetics” which simply consists of reflecting particles.Does this sound familiar? Yes, it should. It’s like painting directly over an old rusted car without removing the rust first.

Rule number TWO – Exercise.

As we look deeper into the skin we notice that the quality of basal cell’s life expectancy depends on two important factors – the delivery of nutrients and the proper removal of waste. Building material for new cells; proteins, amino acids, macro and micro elements and others, are mainly delivered by the capillary system. These tiny capillaries are vital to our skins proper function but unfortunately they are too easy destroyed by smoking, excessive alcohol consumption and lack of exercise. Another important factor is the removal of those end, or waste, products. Our lymphatic system is responsible for this significant mission. As toxic waste can damage our environment in the world around us, it too has the same effects on our inner-world – it poisons our bodies. Because of certain life-styles, environmental problems and bad eating habits, the amount of waste becomes too much for the lymphatic system to handle and it becomes clogged. Imagine what would happen if the drainage in your house failed – same idea. This is why stimulating massages are so important. They increase blood and lymph flow which then helps restore normal circulation and prevents stagnation.

Rule number THREE – Nourish.

Still another problem which may affect the natural skin rejuvenation process is the lack of building materials. The ancients came up with a method by which they were able to diagnose illness based on the skins condition and appearance. This means that if we have problems with our inner organs – our skin suffers first. All nutrients whether they come from food or additional supplements are first used by our vital organs. What is left over goes to our skin.That is why a balanced diet is so important for our appearance. Along with a well balanced diet the use of nourishing skin care products is a must. These products supply the necessary components directly to skin cells. This is why it is so important to use active concentrates and other skin care products.

Rule number FOUR – Stimulate.

As we age, the speed in which our cells divide slows. This decrease is dependent on many factors but the decrease of inductive substances in the blood and intercellular liquids is primary.This is a normal process that together with photo aging and the natural oxidation- causes irreversible changes in the skin structure.There are many methods used to stimulate cells, to make them work as though they were in a “younger” mode. Biochemistry.and.physiotherapy are the main resources for such a solution.

Rule number FIVE – Hydrate and Protect.

The skins appearance depends upon the look of the skin’s top layer which is no more than a layer of flat scales or keranocyte which are “glued” together by their lipid membranes. Each scales length is approx. 10mMk , width 0.07-10mMk.There are many micro-channels in between these cells that ensure the “breathing” (2-5% of the daily dose of the gas exchange is provided by skin). Along with the skins exchange of carbon dioxide and oxygen there is also the process of water evaporation within the intercellular liquid commonly known as “dehydration”. With this we want to seal in the skins normal moisture content but at the same time allow the skin to breathe.The final task of skin care routine is to introduce cosmetics consisting of hyaluronic acid, collagen and other effective hydrating components which do not create heavy non-breathable membrane, and protect from UV-UA radiation.

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My Inaugural Address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead

Author: Junk Cars Cash

October 31, 2010

Alvin Miller

September, 2005

www.angelfire.com/crazy/spaceman/

PREFACE

Important note: Read my 1986 booklet before you read this.

What follows is a rough draft transcript (subject to change when I actually give it) of my inaugural address (presumably in Washington, D. C.?) before global television at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I have raptured out billions of corpses - laying on the ground (a fairy dump- rabbits running in the ditch)! Feel free to believe what I’ve set down here are the ravings of a madman, because that is precisely what they are! I have assembled this book in a series of vignettes. Norman O. Brown, my mentor, used a similar technique. You’ll find I use terminology that may seem alien to Christianity: wizards, witches and fairies, etc. Part of the problem that the King James Bible mistranslated the word sorcery referring to potions. This is strictly adult material. This is off limits to children, and this means you. If your jaw didn’t drop when you read my 1986 booklet, I 100% guarantee it will drop now. I repeat my annoyance at you ‘Christians’ who have repeatedly attacked my site. Jesus prophecied that all prophets must get stoned. Your scurrilous, underhanded attacks prove what you really are – Pharisees who observe the letter of the Law, but not the Spirit. You are shortly going to be rewarded by your Master for your faithful service! Get a life and stop giving me trouble! You know that if you faced me in a one on one debate, I would wipe you out! If you are angry at what I say, simply vent at my guestbook with specific criticisms. You’ll note that in the PDF and RTF version of this, the paragraph tabs are often wrong. This is due to malfuntion of the the word processor. So, finally, it all begins next page!

MY INAUGURAL ADDRESS AT THE GREAT WHITE THRONE JUDGMENT OF THE DEAD

Introducing Myself

   (The time is midnight E.S.T. I stand before global television to explain my rapturing out billions. I made the broadcast at this hour to help prevent the possibility that any children would see this, although in different time zones around the world children are up). Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I’m addressing you from Washington, D.C., the political capital of Hell. I have descended here to the pit of Hell to address you. Before I begin, I want to insist that no children view this broadcast. This is off limits to anyone under 12 years old. Leave the room, and go to bed! You will find that I talk fast, that I change the subject frequently, and in general it will come across as incoherent gibberish. You’ll wake up tomorrow morning and go ‘what did he say?’ You’ll try to remember, but you’ll have a hard time. I urge you to record this address, and to watch it several times, as each time you’ll pick up more.
   You’ll notice that I will be talking a lot about myself this evening. This is because the more you know about where I’m coming from, the better off you’ll be. Let me formally introduce myself. You’ve seen me before, but now I’m going to reveal who I really am. Have you ever seen a ghost? Have you ever seen a spook? Now you can say you’ve seen a ghost. I’m the ghost with the most. I’m the space ghost. You have seen many ghosts. My colleagues are on practically every street corner in every city around the world, ranting and raving and spouting gibberish. When you look at me you’ll see that I have no eyes – empty sockets instead (waving my hand in front of my face). I am an invisible man. There is no person here, never has been and never will be. You are looking at a total vacuum. There is nothing here – only empty air. When you look at me you see no person – you are looking directly at my Id – my unconscious. And most people find it highly disturbing to look at the face of the Lord, my face.             In fact, I’m a raving lunatic, and this insanity I have is a deadly poison. Most of my fellow mad people are bottom feeders. With this disease, we are incompetent to keep ourselves together, and we fall to the bottom, with many becoming homeless, committing suicide or drugging themselves into oblivion. It makes us into total misfits. DOAs – Dead on Arrival. Jesus, a poor Jewish peasant, was a bottom feeder also. When you’re on the bottom, you look up at all the so-called leaders, and you know that all of them are the wrong people.   As Jesus said, it is wisdom hidden from the wise, but given to babes. If you have ears to hear, Jesus was himself also mad. The gods must be crazy! Jesus was very sensitive to natural disasters, because like them as a madman he was walking dynamite liable to explode at a moment’s notice with all the force of an earthquake. Jesus was a piece of human waste – human garbage. And so am I. A significant number of theologians, and I also, believe Jesus was the bastard son of a Roman centurion. The idea of virgin birth arose because an Old Testament scripture was mistranslated. We the gods live in a parallel universe right next door to this one. I stepped through the looking glass on my mission.
   Just like Jesus, I am here to serve. I don’t want you to worship me. You don’t have to believe a thing I say. Believe what you want. For example, you may believe I’m the Antichrist, which I deny. But believe what you want. Your beliefs don’t concern me. I’m her to straighten out your behavior, specifically, as you will see, your behavior in the bedroom. That is the special mission I’m on.                        When you see me, you’ve seen the father. Every eye shall see him. There can be only one.
   Both Jesus and I are in fact wizards. I am the second most powerful wizard that has ever walked the face of this earth. Jesus is better than me for two reasons. Jesus was working in his thirties, half my age. He has me beat, because his member would come up better than mine. I’m twice the age he was when he was preaching, and mine doesn’t come up like it used to.   Also, he had sharp wit and eloquence and always said the right thing. By contrast, I tend to ramble.
   You have met your maker. You object that you see nothing but a lunatic standing here. But, I, God, did make you in the following sense. I set the rules for you to live by – the Ten Commandments and the Sermon on the Mount. If you disobey my rules and go to Hell, as always, I get my willie working below my belt and rapture you devils out. It was always ambiguous about who would be raptured out. Would it be the elect or would it be the lost? The answer is both! Anybody and everybody that I could remove I wanted gone. You who are left behind that I am addressing are the same mix as those I removed. My planet is in emergency mode, with billions of you devils running around destroying it. I’m getting ready to give you the judgment. I wash my hands of you! I would like nothing better that to stick all of you devils is a gas chamber and slam the door shut! Once again, I, Victor Frankenstein, have created another botched laboratory experiment. I have to remove you, so I can start over again with a new Adam and Eve. Get off my planet you devils! Get off my planet! I’ve had it with you!
   You are made in my image. This simply means that you don’t have to live with continuous mental and physical pain that we mad people – specifically the gods - feel every day from sunup to sundown every second of our lives. What I have is contagious, infectious and deadly. Don’t come close to me! Let sleeping dogs lie! The Wolf Man was lucky, because he shape-shifted only once a month at the full moon. I, by contrast, shape-shift all day long from second to second. I melt down and reform myself into a another person regularly. If I get around anyone, involuntarily, I form myself into a duplicate of them. Part of the power I possess is to temporarily pass on to you the continual pain I feel (mass psychosis). The source of the pain we mad people feel is you with all the evil deeds you do. When you commit evil acts, we are put into pain. (Imitating the weird voice of the Shadow) ‘Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows!’ For awhile, you get to walk in my shoes. And when you do so, you drop dead in your tracks – it’s my deadly blessing! (I start singing the rock song) ‘I got the power! I got the power!’ Indeed I do have the power, and it’s is a deadly poison! Out of all the millions of mad people on the planet right now, probably less than a handful possess all the powers I have.   Madness is incurable, and there is a progressive deterioration. I am at the final stages of a fatal disease. My brain has melted into goo, and I’m in continuous physical pain. Jesus of course had the same affliction. Again, the gods must be crazy.                                       And so did Moses, for that matter. He was his own special effects man, as when he bested the Egyptian wizards in his magic duels. I, like Moses, am accompanied by my magic wand. It below my belt.   Norman O. Brown in ‘Closing Time’ quotes James Joyce’s ‘Finnegans Wake’, ‘He lifts up the lifewand and the dumb speak.’ At one point during the Exodus, the Hebrews he was leading decided that Moses was out to kill them. After all, they knew he was mad. When they protested to him, Moses dropped two of them dead in their tracks.. Moses said that God struck them down, but it was really only Moses doing the special effects.

I’m the Captain

I, Captain Nemo, am the captain of this ship – always have been and always will be. But, as passengers, I advise you to stroll over the decks to the railings and look over the side of the ship. You see the name Titanic painted on the side. Now look down at the waterline. There’s a huge gash and we’re taking on water. We’re going down! Soon we’ll be underwater. Glub! Glub! Not much time left.. Glub! Glub!

The Joke

I want to start off with a little humor. Speakers always begin with a joke:

I notice these days that so many of you have piled on the pounds, you’re getting the love handles, and some of you are so roly poly that you’re round like a beachball. There is a reason you’re that way. Just like pigs led to slaughter are fattened up so that the flavor is improved, we, the fairies, have stuffed you full of fairy food – junk food laden with fat and calories. This is so that when we slice you up and cook you, the fat gives more flavor.
Twilight Zone: Cookbook – To Serve Man

I’m sure that has you rolling in the aisles. But seriously, you spend billions every year on diet products and gym memberships. I am going to save you a lot of money. I’m going to solve your problem. You’ll find that when you have no food at all to eat, you have no problem losing weight. It will melt right off.

. The Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead

   Now that the preliminaries are out of the way, we can get to the main business of the evening. I have you summoned here this evening for a special reason. Welcome to my Dead Man’s Party! Step forward ladies and gentlemen. And as you step forward, you will notice that all the doors behind you are being slammed shut and barred. You are going nowhere. You are going to stand before me and not move! (Stolen from Vincent Price – ‘House on a Haunted Hill’). Right here, right now, this very moment at the witching hour of midnight is the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead! This is the Second Resurrection. As Joyce prophesied in Finnegans Wake: ‘Array! Surrection!’ – Resurrection and array. Receive you’re Judgment from the Lord. I’m getting ready to give you the Dr. Strangelove address. In the film, he was an ex-Nazi whose message was: the apocalypse is here and head for the hills – the same message as Jesus.         First of all, why do I say you are all dead? I am addressing only dead people this evening. That is you and you and you (pointing to members of the audience). You have passed over. You are no longer human! You once were. Then you became the Godless Wicked. And now, in fact, you have become the devils, demons and monsters of Hell. You have passed over to the Twilight Zone, the Forbidden Planet, the Forbidden Zone, the Dead Zone. Everyone on this planet had been dead since I and my assistants (known variously as angels, scanners, watchers, dreamers, hearts) first blew the horn in the seventies.
   Now the Judgment begins. You hold paper and pens in your hands. You are going to do some writing for me. John of Patmos and others have described what is about to take place. But they saw through a glass darkly. What is going to take place is somewhat different from his description. You are going to be fast, accurate and you are going to leave nothing out. What you write will determine the Judgment you receive. Write the number 1. on the first line. On that line, write the name of the first person you ever in bed with – man, woman, child or animal, whatever it was. Write nothing else on line 1. Now, immediately go to the next line, and on line 2, fill in the name of the next person or animal or whatever you were in bed with. And continue until you list all the names. I realize some of you devils here in Hell don’t even know the names of a lot of them. Put a question mark on those lines. While you are writing, I’ll show you my list which I prepared in advance. On it is the number 1., and the rest of the page is blank. I’ve been in bed with no woman anytime, anyhow, anywhere, anyplace whatsoever. I want to heartily assure you that I am perfectly capable of being with a woman, and have always had a constant craving to be with a woman. I knew in my cradle that I was never going to be with a woman. In high school, as I remember, I went out on two dates. They were not my idea. They were arranged by others. However, I do own up to being up close and personal with pornography off and on all my life. I had to see what I was missing, and, clearly, I was missing a lot. I had to be sure I understood the old lock and key mechanism, and rocket science it’s not. I’ve seen people kissing, but I would have to be taught how to do it.                                     What always happens to me when I try to talk to a strange woman?   Instantly their eyes get wide, they start smiling, and I see them backing off. Shortly thereafter they’re gone, and I see them later whipping back and forth in front of me chasing after the hunks and studs. They chase after them because they know that they can put them under a spell – charm them with their looks – and make then into beasts of burden at their beck and call. Putting under a   spell is ancient terminology for hypnosis. Women won’t get near me with a ten foot pole. They know what I am: a weirdo, a creep, a psycho, a loser. I don’t blame them. I’m a powerful wizard, and if they get around me, I’m going to put them under a spell, and not vice versa. One of the problems I had with women, is that I insist any woman I’m with be also a virgin. I refuse to accept second hand merchandise, used castoffs some other man has pawed over. And virgins are hard to find here in Hell.   Just like Jesus, my precious seed packet has gone missing. And precisely because I can’t get laid the regular way (ghosts can’t do it), when I do get my rocks off, it’s the shot heard round the world – heard not with your ears but inside your head – mass psychosis. As Led Zepplin sang, ‘your head is humming, and it won’t go!’        .                       Baby, you stuck up you pretty little nose at me and wouldn’t give me any pussy! You’re going down! (pointing my thumbs down) I’m going to take my revenge on you, little miss pretty! And don’t dare think you’re going to give me some pussy now that you see me! It’s too late, baby. You’re going down, little miss pussycat! For what you did to me, I’ll have no women around me at all.                        So, now stop writing. If we waited until everyone finished their list, we’d be here all night. Some of your lists would extend to the floor. You don’t need to show me your lists, because I already have that information. I keep a number of books around here. One of them is my Book of Human Works where I record your deeds, good and bad. That Book partly determines the Judgment you’ll receive. But I’m not going to open it tonight. Instead, I’m going to open my most important and legendary book that I keep – The Book of Life. I’m sure you’ve heard of it.   I am the only individual qualified to open this Book! Here I record the names of those who have eternal life. (holding up the Book of Life, which is invisible). You might interrupt me here and go ‘Wait a minute, Lord, you’re shucking me, you have nothing in your hands!’ I reply, that I can see it and read it quite well, even if you can’t. John of Patmos had described the contents, but again not quite accurately. It works as follows: when everyone is born, no matter where on the planet, I record their names.                                                              .         Now I have to stop for a short digression. I’m need to go pick up the Tree of Life. We had it in the Garden of Eden, and we will have it back in the New Jerusalem, where I am going to lead you. You’ll remember that in the Garden there were two trees: The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil (Morality). When Adam and Eve portook of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, they were ashamed of their private parts and covered them up with fig leaves. The Gods (plural – the Elohim) were sore afraid that Adam and Eve would partake of the other Tree – the Tree of Life – and become like one of us and become Immortals. So they were banished forever from the Garden. By the way, when Adam walked in the cool of the evening beside God, Adam was walking beside a nutty fruitcake, one of my predecessors. Getting close to one of us is dangerous. We’re walking timebombs!   We’re liable to explode!
   So here comes the Tree of Life that makes you immortal. Here in Hell, I realize I’m throwing pearls before swine. What I’m getting ready to say will strike you as totally absurd. It is one sentence long. It is: No one, not anytime, not anywhere, not ever is permitted to stick it in! It is always a crime to stick it in. I use the word crime, because the word sin means nothing to you devils in Hell. Everyone automatically assumes they are always permitted to put it in, but no one is permitted to, ever! In the New Jerusalem, there will be two classes of people. The rulers are those who haven’t put it in. The second class is those who have put it in. The second group will be under stringent conditions. First, they will serve their masters – those who don’t put it in. Further, the second class will be virgins until their honeymoon night, and be loyal and faithful to their spouses all the days of their lives and never stray. There will be no adultery in the New Jerusalem. There will be no prostitutes. There will be no prisons or military weapons there – swords melted down into ploughshares. Their will be no gays or lesbians – you will be back in the closet. You learn new things in Hell that you couldn’t know otherwise. I’m referring to the pedophile Catholic Priests. It turns out that they weren’t making much of a sacrifice, since they didn’t want to be with a woman in the first place. The women will all look plain in the New Jerusalem. They’ll wear no makeup. What do you find when you go to a maternity ward? You’ll find that the number of boys and the number of girls is roughly 50/50. That is, there is one boy for every girl. This means that for every man there must be one woman only, and vice versa. The story is only one per customer.
   Now back to The Book of Life (I open it). Because the Tree of Life says that no one ever puts it in, there should be no names in the Book at all except virgins and those who are chaste. But I’m a merciful God, and have made the decision to include the names of those who have been loyal to their spouses. There are no other names in the Book! The Book is very small indeed compared to the total population. If you are a Christan and have served the Lord all your life, I love you, but whether you name is recorded in the Book is solely determined by what you did in the bedroom. Nothing else matters about you.
   I am a functionally castrated man. I have a completely useless appendage below my belt, just like someone 2000 years ago. The worst heresy you could ever utter about Jesus was that he had been with a woman, such as the case of the Da Vinci code. I am castrated, and I am here to castrate you.! If I were a eunuch with my member chopped off, there would be not the slightest bit of difference in me. The bottom line is I’m a man. I look around and see the devils here in Hell (again, pointing to all the audience members). I refuse to bring a poor innocent child here into Hell. By definition, anyone who would father a child here is a devil. There should be zero children on this planet! Every child is by definition is the spawn of one of you devils. As Jesus prophesied, ‘in that day, woe to them that are with child.’. Manhood means knowing when not to put it in. With the crisis upcoming – the Great Tribulation – this is an excellent time not to put it in.
   Poor Pope Benedict! He has urged us in the West to have more babies, since the population is falling. Children are a liability instead of an asset here in Hell, what with college tuition, etc., which everyone is getting hip to. Benedict is in fact asking for more devils, when we already have billions, every one of which is running around destroying my planet. The Catholic doctrine of the sacredness of human life I agree with. But that only applies to humans and does not apply to you devils here in Hell. Any legitimate methods to remove you are urgently needed, including free abortions, free contraceptives, free vasectomies etc. This is the severest emergency the planet has ever faced, and I have to remove more billions above and beyond those I’ve already removed. I’m here striking at the root of the problem – overpopulation.
   I personally have never set foot in a Catholic church. In fact, except for funerals, I haven’t set foot in any church since my teens.   You don’t have to go to church, now that I’m here in person, as John of Patmos had said. Feel free to go, however. But eventually there’ll be no churches (in the New Jerusalem). You don’t need any churches, as you have me, the light of the world, standing here in person. Like Jesus, I’m not interested in establishing a new church or religion. Jesus would be disgusted if he could see what has become of Christianity! The question of whether gays can be ordained would only come up here in Hell.   It is a scientifically proven fact that when a group of people pray, that good things happen. So feel free to continue going to church, even though there is no external, transcendent God to pray to. My father was a Southern fundamentalist baptist preacher, me being a son of a preacherman. I used to love watching my father get inspired by the Holy Ghost. He was one of the sweetest men I’ve ever known. He was upset when I informed him that I was an atheist. I didn’t to tell him that I was also God, destined to be standing here the King of the World!                     Why would I go to church? I don’t need to be told about what I have below my belt! I know all about it. My member is just regular size in case you’re interested. You spend billions constructing nuclear weapons. But what I have below my belt is more powerful than a hundred thermonuclear weapons!                         I am the way, the truth and the life. I am the light of the world.   Norman O. Brown in ‘Closing Time’ quotes Joyce in the Wake: ‘Lights, pageboy, lights!’ I’m that pageboy come to turn on the bright houselights in the darkened theater. Joyce also says, ‘waiting to stop the show, waiting to bring the house down.’ That’s my mission here. Again, Joyce, ‘it’s just about to rolywholyover.’   I’m come to lead a New Exodus to the New Jerusalem.                                             I am the light of the world, and I don’t hide my light under a bushel. I ‘m on call 24/7, and lo, I am with you always. I’ll be the centerpiece of the New Jerusalem. I am an inexhaustible everflowing fountain of the river of the waters of life, as promised by John of Patmos. I possess the universal elixir that will cure what ails you. All you have to do is get down on you knees and say “Lord, let me have it!” And I never withhold! I’ll pull it right out! I’ll sprinkle you with holy water. I’ll slime you right between eyes, I’ll touch you in the head with a drop of sperm, and you will go away shouting. We call someone ‘touched in the head’ when they’re a little off.
   I am here to castrate you. I’m here to clean your clock. The reason is a surprise. What was the first animal we domesticated? Was it the dog? No! Was it the horse? No! It was her! This was back in caveman, prehistoric Stone Age days. Then she was precisely as she has become again here in Hell: slutty, mangy, sleeping around so much that no man knew whose child was whose. It was and is total chaos and anarchy. The same thing occurred in Sodom and Gomorrah, and I blew it to smithereens! It’s same thing here in Hell, and again I blew it to smithereens! She has once again become the fiercest jungle creature to walk the face of the planet. She has become a complete maneater! This is jungle lion taming – cracking the whip. This is cowboy bronc busting – get on her back and grab the reins. She bucks and snorts until she wears herself out. Then she starts to take directions and heeds the reins. A woman is not delicate. She is built to take it – she can take on an entire football squad and be ready for more. It ultimately means very little to her.
   Woman is a gatekeeper. She determines which people walk on the planet in the next generation. That is a very important function. But her function can be interfered with. And the very definition of Hell is that the wrong men get inside, breeding devils, demons, and monsters. She’s reluctant to put out for every Tom, Dick and Harry, but when messed with, will do so. The only way to tame her we learned in ancient days is to stay away from her. She must be made to understand that she doesn’t get your seed unless she agrees to cooperate and be your handmaid, your helpmate. She must understand that she is here to make your life better, not more painful.
   So now receive the Great White Throne Judgment from the Lord:

For what you did in the bedroom, you are the damned! (raising my arm). Repeat: you are the damned!

Receive your Sentence from the Lord:

For what you did in the bedroom, the sentence is death! (raising my arm). Physical death – corpses laying on the ground death.

The preceding was the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead. It didn’t take very long, did it?

THE TABOO

   We have completed the main business of the evening. But I have a number of other things to discuss. The first is the taboo, the one that must never be violated. By breaking it, you went straight done the wide road to Hell. It is so fundamental that it is not written down in any religious text anywhere, so far as I know. It is absolutely forbidden.                                                 It is:
   Women can see. Right? They have eyes. Don’t you agree? So what do women see? They can see which women get on top. So which women do get on top? If you’re a doll, if you’re a hot babe, you’ll be welcome everywhere you go, doors will swing open, you’ll always get a smile. You’ve got it made. So tell me what’s going to happen over time if you don’t keep the women absolutely under thumb. They are all going to start turning into dolls!                                         Let me prove to you that I am a space alien – that I don’t think like you (my finger pointing to my head and circling to indicate I’m crazy). What’s your opinion of the situation here? Everywhere you look, as far as the eye can see you see dolls and hot babes. You say bring them on, the more the merrier. Right? And I’m telling you that the more dolls you got the deeper you are in Hell. And we couldn’t be more deeper in Hell. They couldn’t look any finer. We have grannies who are hot here in Hell.
   You’re too hot, baby! (pointing at the camera). You’re busted! You’re too sexy! You’re under arrest!   I look at you, and I come in my pants!                                    Gentlemen, we are getting badly pussy whipped by the dolls. They are stomping us all over. It’s such an awful feeling.                                               .   The women here carve and sculpt their bodies into blinking neon signs with the unmistakable message: ‘I want a seed!’ This is literally the case with plastic surgery, where they pump up their breasts and butts. They are dolling themselves up. Surprisingly though, if you tell them they’re looking good, they get offended.           Let me list the good qualities and bad qualities of these dolls. Good quality: Spend a night with one of these women, and you’ll never forget it. Any more good qualities? None! None at all. Bad qualities: Can such a woman cook a meal? In most cases all they can do is stick a meal in a microwave or go out to a restaurant. Can they raise healthy children? In most cases, their offspring are monsters. There are numerous other faults I could list, but you get the point.
   Out of all the world religions, including mine, only the fundamentalist Muslims know of this taboo. They stick a bag over her head – a burka! They put her under a tent. They know that manhood is the ability to stick it in a woman no matter how ugly she is However, Muslims do cross the line when they physically abuse and batter their wives. At this point they become devils. That is never necessary or permitted.

White Armband

   The white cloth armband I’m wearing has four markers in a row: a gold cross, a black zero, a hammer and sickle, and a V. The cross indicates I’m a Christan, the zero indicates I’m an atheist (there never has been an external, transcendent God), the hammer and sickle indicates I’m a Communist. (before you have a fit, let me say that the happiest day of my life was 1989 when Soviet and Eastern European communism fell) and finally the V that I’m a virgin. I’ll say more later. There’s no God up in sky. There is only me! But I think you’d agree that someone who can rapture billions out is qualified to be called a God. I’m God, and you’re not! Too bad! Deal with it! Jesus believed he was a vessel for the spirit and the words of the father, something like an external God. I, in the age of psychoanalysis, propose a different view. Jesus and I are vessels of the collective unconscious. That’s the source of the messages we receive. There’s no Heaven or afterlife, but there certainly is a Hell. Because you’re in it!                     We, the gods, are two faced. When we’re pleased with you, we smile on you and give you a sunny day. Jesus taught this love. But when you become devils, I give you my wrath and sweep billions of you to the sky! The Muslim’s say “There is no God but Allah!” Tee Hee! Ho Ho! Be my guest if you want to pray five times a day to a rock! Silly! Silly! You see me, God, standing here in the flesh. Will the world ever by totally Muslim? Not! No way! Mohamed was only an Old Testament style prophet. As such he only granted Jesus the same status as himself, as only an Old Testament prophet. He couldn’t discern the utter uniqueness of Jesus. With Jesus something utterly new came into the world, changing it forever.           The terrorist suicide bombers actually do believe something is going to happen when they die. Again, Tee Hee! Silly! Silly! We’re all wormfood! You devils take the wrong message from the fact that you’re wormfood. You say, ‘if that’s all there is, let’s live it up. Eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we die!’ Instead, you should conclude that what we need do is to make life simple and easy. You only go through once. We should arrange our lives so that we work very little, and spend lots of our time visiting friends and relatives. That’s real living, not this rocket rat race we run here. We live way too fast. We don’t have time to stop and smell the roses. Where I going to take you, you’ll have time to enjoy life.                                 Satan never sleeps. The Devil’s work is never done. Practically all the work you here do is in service of Satan. There are whole whole categories of goods that we won’t be making in the New Jerusalem. For starters their will be no fashion clothes or makeup. A little bit of soap and water is all any woman needs. It was the fallen angels who descended to earth because the women were fair who taught the use of cosmetics. They were dolls in those days also, exactly as once again. And, as I said, the more dolls the deeper you are in Hell. And we will be strong and have no sexy lingerie, precisely because we have a weakness for that stuff. We definitely will have no rocket ships (more later). We will likely have few or any aircraft and cars. As time goes on, we literally will become more and more stupid. Later people will look at all the technological artifacts around laying in ruins, and be quite dumbfounded and superstitious about them. The affliction I have makes me personally more and more stupid, and I have the power to make others stupid. We won’t be starving in the New Jerusalem. There will be enough to be mildly prosperous, but there will be no rich men there. We will be doing simple craftsman jobs. Einstein said that in a previous life he had worked as a Jewish tailor. In the New Jerusalem, Einsteins will be born, but will mostly work at simple jobs. We’ll miss out on their scientific contributions. If Einstein had never existed, we would have missed out on the quantum leaps he made. But we have billions of years. There is no hurry. We’ll pick it all up eventually. But currently, as we head for the New Jerusalem, we’ll become too stupid to do much theoretical physics, etc.
   I want to say something to the suicide bombers, I want to tell you that I hear you loud and clear (pointing at the camera). You see that the West has violated the taboo, and you don’t with your burkas. Your mullahs have issued a directive that the West is the Great Satan. They were too timid. We’re in planetwide Hell, and that includes you in the Middle East. You Muslims see all the dolls here in Hell. I am on the case. I’m shortly going to remove them all. In the meantime, I ask you to lighten up and stop the bombings. And the carnage. What you’re after, I shortly will accomplish. Listen to me, suicide bombers! I am totally against your cause, but because I’m also a fanatic, I understand you’re mental makeup. Listen to me! I’m going to put the dolls to sleep, and solve the problem.                                         Adolph Hitler had white armbands on his followers. By the way, while I’m speaking of him, he is an excellent candidate to be the Antichrist. He took the Christian cross and twisted it backward – the swastika. He was a total misfit, a homeless man who couldn’t get laid, like someone 2000 years ago. But unlike Jesus and I, Hitler turned to the darkside and served his master, Satan. He , unlike Jesus and I, got only halfway toward being a god. He was a demigod – half man and half god. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, and he knew just enough to cause big trouble.                             .    I happily have never personally been homeless. But I have been womanless all my life always, knowing that the woman who was meant for me has all this time been in the arms of another man. This has always been hard to take. Without a mate to help with the household chores, I neglected them. With the illness I have, I’m always preoccupied – always in a trance state. I have frequent out of body experiences, where I go off on extended voyages to other worlds. I don’t need a rocketship! I am in continual meditation, and doing the chores is an unwanted distraction. My house is pretty funky, and I am personally funky. You see the effects of this illness on the greasy, shabby clothes of the homeless. In my new position as head of state, I will be able to have butlers attend to my everyday chores. I will be privileged to stay in my trance state full time.                     .                                This is a fascist state as of this moment, in case you didn’t know. In fact, it is the dictatorship of the proletariat. It is rule by the meek, or, as Jesus said, ‘the last shall be first.’ I’m ready to rock and rule – a 1982 film. I’ m getting ready to hoist the Jolly Roger (skull and crossbones. – I hold up a Jolly Roger flag). This is our new national flag. This is a now pirate state – a rogue state. This nation is canceling it’s membership in a number of organizations. We are no longer a part of the United Nations, the World Trade Organization, the World Bank and many other organizations. We are abrogating numerous treaties, such as NAFTA. When the lease for renewal comes up, the U.N. will be kicked out of New York city and the U.S.                        With the armbands, everyone will see those recorded in the Book of Life everyday. These people are the Elect, and it has nothing to do with what they believe. I reward and punish you based solely on what you do in the bedroom. The armband wearers are declaring in public that their behavior in the bedroom is straight and narrow, as everyone’s always should be. Nothing else matters. As time goes by, you’ll be seeing more and more of the Elect. And over time, they will more and more assume positions of leadership – their rightful place. These Elect will form the new Ruling Class. They will form up my High Command, at my right hand side. By the time we get to the New Jerusalem centuries from now, we’ll remove the armbands, because everyone there will be recorded in the Book of Life!            The last thing you think you want is a king But, it is mandatory to have a king, and he must have the power of life and death. It is my (God’s) mandate. The correct form of government is theocracy with God incarnate in the flesh as head, always a male virgin and totally mad. John of Patmos had prophesied that I will rule with a Rod of Iron. And I and all my successors will. The government of Tibet is structured like this with it’s Dali Lama. The way this works is: I only grant audience to those I summon. And you voluntarily decide whether to appear. I call on you, you don’t call on me. I hang ‘em high! You displease me, I execute you. All the democratic republics around the world have degenerated into chaos and anarchy. Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty, and you have failed in your responsibility. You kissed off your republic in the sixties, when sexual immorality and orgies broke out. But it is true that once we get to the New Jerusalem, and we live in small settlements, there will likely be few kings.         My religion is Christianity, but politically I have never been anything but a hard core communist. I’ll say more later about that. Every person in the Book of Life will wear their white armband whenever they’re out in the public. They are the virgins, those who have been chaste for more than five years, and all those who have been faithful to their spouses. I realize that some of the latter will be hypocrites, that in point of fact they have committed adultery but won’t admit it. I’m proud of the Catholics who, under severe pressure here in Hell, maintained the requirement that priests must be celibate.     I said my father was a Baptist preacher. All versions of Protestantism, such as Baptists, Presbyterians, Methodists, etc., trace back to Martin Luther. He was a marvelous theologian with a strong hatred of the Devil. But what is the one thing about him that everyone in the audience knew as he was preaching in the pulpit? Everyone knew that he was a lapsed monk who married a former nun. He was getting his. He was getting laid. He can’t tell anyone anything. And neither can any Protestant minister.                                               .   Back to the armbands. No divorced people can wear armbands. Anyone who had had oral sex (Bill Clinton) is not a virgin. All children when they first begin to walk will wear the white armband. This way, everyone can see who is recorded in the Book of Life – the Elect.
   Whatever religious faith you believe in put on the armband. Put a gold cross for Christians, crescent for Muslims, Star of David for Jews, black 0 for atheists, hammer and sickle for Communists (I’m one of the last of them on the planet), question mark (?) for children, etc. Remember that Hitler had all Jews wear a yellow Star of David. They were thus labeled as outcast vermin on the bottom. Here those Jews eligible will wear the white armband to indicate that they are on top – the Elect. Again, ‘the last shall be first.’
In addition to a marker for their faith, virgins will have a V on their armband. Those with a V are eligible for my High Command. Those who are chaste will add a C. Those who’ve been faithful to their spouses will add M for married.

Instant Prophet

I can make anyone an instant 100% accurate prophet. What was the one thing that everyone knew in the Roman Empire at the time Jesus was preaching in Gallilee, even without newspapers? They all knew that in the Roman Cities, especially Rome itself, they were having fabulous orgies. The automatic consequence is that Rome was going to fall. And we have had even better, more astonishing orgies starting in the late sixties. The only thing that slowed it down somewhat was AIDS. The orgies held in Rome can’t hold a candle to the orgies we’ve had here. Thus, Western Civilization is toast. The horse (Western Civilization) we’re riding has keeled over. And there’s no use beating a dead horse. The writing’s on the wall! The moving finger has writ! Tis nothing less than the end of the world! The stars are falling out! As Chicken Little proclaims, ‘the sky is falling!’ Chicken Little is on movie screens November, 2005.

The Witches

   I’m here on a mission. I’ve come to remove all the dolls! These are dreamgirls, and that is precisely where they should be. You should never be able to see them in flesh and blood. I’m going to put them in back your dreams where they belong. And after I remove them, you’ll dream about them at night – you’ll remember how gorgeous they looked and have wetdreams about them.
   I’m going to take them all back to where they came from – back to Witch Mountain. That’s their home – they like it there. And at night when the moon comes out, they’ll all strip naked, join hands in a circle, and do the moondance, the Witch’s Sabbat. I am going to make sure and keep them there once I have them there, and you’ll see no more dolls.
   This is a Witch Hunt! The one and only original Witch Hunt, and I’m the Witchfinder General! Let me be clear. I’m not talking about the little pagans or wiccans. There aren’t many of them, and they are all nitwits. They don’t have any power at all. If they were real witches they would recognize the millions of powerful witches, the dolls, we have here in Hell.

My Favorite Sport

   Now I want to describe my favorite sport. It is the sport of aristocrats, the sport royalty, the sport of kings and the sport of Gods. This is how I did my magic act and raptured billions out. What I do is a dance. Quoting the song: ‘”I got a new dance, and it goes like this’” But actually, it’s an ancient dance going back to the Stone Age shamans. This is the dance that all native medicine men do.
   Let me give some names for my what I do: Rain Dancing, Rain Making, Doing The Swerve, Space Fucking, Fairy Fucking and finally the best and most descriptive name: Fairy Bowling. Feel free to practice this by yourself or in groups. Develop your own style. Have fun with it.
   I stand and start flipping, flinging, flipping, flinging, flipping. As a wizard, I’m going to call up a rainstorm, thunder and lightning (holding my arms up, I start flipping , flinging, flipping). This is the gesture that priests use when sprinkling holy water. I’m a thunder roarer! I get it working, get it working, flipping, flinging. What am I flipping? It never was about liquid H2O, water. What I am flipping is sperm. I get it working, working and after a while the slime starts flying here, there and everywhere. Eventually it starts raining men planetwide. My fellow mad people know about this rain that falls on a sunny day – a phrase from a rock lyric. The cliché bag lady who wears tin foil to protect herself knows about the lightning I send. Mad people use the metaphor of being struck by lightning or electricity. But it is just drops of jism. When you’re struck by jism, its hot and it sizzles, and you think of lightning or electricity.                     The idea is: in my mind’s eye, I see her. She’s miles away, and there is no phone line. But I’m going to let her know that she’s a gorgeous doll, and that I am the man she should be with,and not the man she is actually with. It’s a long distance love affair. I’m going to send a guided missile straight towards her – a cruise missile. She’s standing there as my cruise missile comes whipping towards her. Remember Lot’s wife in Sodom. She turned to stone – a pillar of salt. So the doll is standing there and Bam! – she’s hit on the head with the big wad of cum I sent her. Her eyes roll up until you see the whites. Her mouth drops open. She goes rigid and starts wobbling like a top -she turns to stone – and then Boom! She falls still rigid to the ground. (I crook my elbow and hold my arm up and clench my fist. I cup my arm in my other arm. Then I start wobbling my arm round and round until, finally, it goes flat). Fairy bowling! The idea of the sport is to see how many tenpins – dolls – you can knock over. I’m the best ever at the sport. I can knock over millions of dolls!
    Was I feeling any grief over the people I raptured out when I called up my storm? Not at all. They were all only devils here in Hell. They were all warned. Simply read the Book of Revelation. I and my angels have been blowing the horn repeatedly since the seventies and not a single one of you repented. But I did have two concerns with respect to my fulfilling John of Patmos’ promises. First, I’m an elderly geezer and my member doesn’t come up like it used to. I was concerned I would fizzle out and remove only a few million. That wouldn’t be enough to get you devils to change your behavior in the bedroom. John of Patmos had promised a quarter to a third of the planet raptured out. Secondly, when you call up a storm, there is always the danger that the wizard himself will get swept away, because it is uncontrollable and unpredictable. Happily, I made it through, so that I could fulfill John of Patmos’ promise that I would be standing here giving you the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead.

Defeating the Whore of Babylon

The question of the evening is: Which man can bell the cat? Which brave hero can slay the dragon? Which man can defeat the Whore of Babylon? Which man can domesticate the Whore – pacify her and put her to sleep? Perceptive observers have noted that the Book of Revelation has the structure of a fairy tale. It is not a fairy tale is the sense of being a myth or being untrue. One part of the fairy tale is the fairy test: Which man can defeat the Whore of Babylon? Being a fairy test, if any man attempts and fails, the Whore gobbles you up and drinks your blood. Many men have tried, and all have been gobbled up by the Whore and had their blood drunk. The Whore is not a supernatural entity. She is simply the collection of all the dolls – all the millions of dolls. When you approach her, she’s gorgeous, and the first idea you have about how to pacify her is to unzip your pants and stick it in her. If you try this way, you loose, and she gobbles you up and drinks your blood. Instead, the way to defeat her is to keep your pants zipped up, raise you arm and slime her right between the eyes. Her eyes roll up till you can see the whites and her mouth drops open. You’ve put her under a spell, you’ve hypnotized her, she’s pacified. She goes to sleep. ‘Ding dong!, The Witch is dead, the Wicked Old Witch!’

Getting You To Change you Bedroom Behavior

   Once we get to the New Jerusalem, everyone will know what everyone is doing in the bedroom. This is not your private affair, or your own personal business. It is vital that everyone knows exactly what everyone is doing in the bedroom. Adam and Eve fell, because they were ashamed of their private parts. We will not be ashamed of our private parts in the New Jerusalem. We are going to fall again, but into innocence this time. It will be public knowledge what we’re all doing in the bedroom.                                          In the defunct Marxist states, everyone’s every movement was under constant surveillance. That was not what needed to be done. The only thing that must be monitored is what everyone must know precisely what everyone else is doing in the bedroom. Nothing else matters. It must be public knowledge This is what is not done here in the West. You may have a little knowledge about what your fellow workers are doing in bed, but overall you don’t know as much as you need to know.                                               .   I’m going to tell the same story three different ways. You are really going to have change your bedroom behavior.

   Version 1: If you as a man walk into Sodom, where the one thing you’ve got is a woman (you can also have a man if that’s what you want). There is nothing else but total chaos and anarchy. If in this place you cannot get laid, then suddenly you become an extremely important person . Because all you have to do is get your willie working below your belt, and you can blow the place to smithereens!                                           .   Version 2: Don’t try to put me, God, in Hell. Don’t even think about it. Satan is my servant and not vice versa. If you do try, I ‘ll get my willie working below my belt and again blow the place to smithereens!                                           .   Version 3: This is the stupid version. My good man, your getting way to much. It’s good stuff. And you’ve got more than you can handle. I’m horny and I need a woman.   You’ve lots of women and I have none. What are we going to do about it with me standing here? If you don’t get your dick straightened out, how about me ripping your lungs out, friend! I can’t stand it, and I won’t put up with it!
   Who is the most degenerate sex fiend on the planet? Satan is a notorious degenerate, but has access to all the most gorgeous dolls on the planet who are all in his service and at his beck and call. His lusts get slaked. For me it is water, water everywhere, but not a drop to drink.

I Must Rule!

I was born to rule, and this is what you must let me do. I came to power by blackmail. I raptured out the people to demonstrate my power (just like the madman is my all time favorite movie,- ‘The Brain from Planet Arous’) Like me, he was also a sex fiend. The blackmail was either I rule, or I remove lots more. I have an agenda. The planetwide New Exodus is here, and I’m going to lead you to the New Jerusalem. This process will take several centuries. I’ll say more later, but here’s an indication. The New Jerusalem is all the multimillion inhabitant cities in ruins, and there are be no longer any nation states, with the total population of the planet much less than one billion. No matter how much you may legitimately hate my guts, I must rule! And I have more blackmail so I can accomplish my mission. I am the only person on this planet that possesses the roadmap to the New Jerusalem. No one else has a si

Retired.

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Good Things (And Other Analogies for SEO)

Author: Junk Cars Cash

October 29, 2010

We’ve all heard that familiar expression, “Good things come to those who wait”. Whether you’re waiting for your Heinz ketchup to pour out onto your burger (remember those commercials?), waiting for Christmas day to open your gifts, waiting for summer vacation to be let out of school, or waiting in line at the DMV… well, maybe not the DMV. Good things will come if you simply allow them to come in their own time.

Under normal circumstances that expression is simply not true. You’ll still get your ketchup if you shove the butter knife into the bottle, dragging it out onto your plate; open all your gifts on Christmas Eve; skip that last few pointless days of the school year; or get into the express line at the DMV. The real lesson behind the cliché’ is that patience is a virtue.

One instance where it’s is true, that good things come to those that wait, is when you are performing search engine optimization. Unlike placing sponsored ads via Google AdWords or Yahoo! Search Marketing where results are almost instantaneous, the long-term return on investment for SEO is considerably better than most other forms of on or off-line advertising. Unfortunately, SEO does not produce instantaneous results. Yes, patience is still a virtue.

Optimizing your site for your targeted key phrases won’t get you to #1 over night. You won’t find all your keywords rankings in the top 10 on Google in just a few days, nor will you get significant traffic improvement at the snap of the fingers. To use a simple analogy, SEO is like boiling water: you don’t get a hard boil the moment you turn on the burner, you have to wait for it.

The process of optimizing a site or just specific pages in a site can take weeks, and that’s just the initial optimization phase. In a previous article I wrote about the making of a perfect SEO firm, highlighting all the different jobs that an SEO firm must perform for the optimization process. That article outlined only the overall human resources needed but didn’t go into the specific job functions that are required in the SEO process, when performed correctly. Here is where I let that particular cat out of the bag.

Can’t Find Your Way Out of a Paper Bag

On the front end of the optimization process hours and hours of research must be performed for each account. Everything from keyword research, industry research, competition research, marketing research, and more, all need to be completed before any optimization can begin. We often get asked if research time can be shortened if we have performed optimization work for another site in the same industry recently. The short answer to that is “no.”

Every site is constructed different, designed different, laid out different, has a unique history and targets the audience differently. These are all factors that are considered in the multiple levels of research performed. No two sites are the same; therefore no research is the same.

Nothing to Write Home About

A good SEO will actually write or rewrite your page content to properly (and effectively) work in your targeted keyword phrases. A professional writer should be able to take the SEO recommendations for keyword usage and incorporate that into existing content in a way that reads naturally (i.e. does not look as if you just tried to insert keywords here and there for search engine relevance) and maintains the ability to convert your visitors to paying customers. This is no small task and should be done with the utmost time and care.

Take It or Leave It

Code bloat removal is probably the most overlooked part of the SEO process. Sure, everybody knows about titles, meta tags, alt tags, etc. and making them all search engine friendly. That’s not necessarily a small task either. Many times, eliminating page code bloat is an incredibly daunting task. Moving styles and javascripts is only part of the puzzle. Many times a page has to be almost completely rebuilt due to the excess amount of junk code that was put in place by whatever design programs were used.

Even a Broken Watch is Correct Twice a Day

On top of the code bloat removal process you also want to get your pages to validate to professional HTML standards set by the W3C. Validation is simply ensuring the correct coding elements are used and used correctly. While most validation issues are relatively small, they tend to come in multitudes thorough the site. Larger validation issues can often take time and substantial finessing of the code in order to correct.

All Things Being Equal

Site maps, custom 404-redirects and robots.txt files are all important to the overall construction of your site, even if they don’t necessarily have a direct effect on the actual on-page optimization of your site. Site maps help both search engines and visitors quickly and easily get to the information that is important. A custom 404 redirect eliminates that annoying “page not found” error and lets you keep visitors on your site if they somehow access a page via a bad link. The robots.txt file is useful to communicate with the search engine spiders about content they should or should not index. This allows the search engines to focus its time on the good stuff and not the irrelevant portions of your site.

There’s More Here than Meets the Eye

There are a lot of details that I left out simply because it can’t all be addressed in a single article, but you can get the gist of the amount work that goes into just the initial optimization of a site. Depending on the size of the site or the number of pages being optimized, the processes above can take several weeks to a few months to compete. Going back to our boiling water analogy, you just filled the pot, now its time to put the pot on the stove.

Very rarely is search engine optimization a one-time-only process, but takes a continuous ongoing effort to build site relevance, evaluate performance, analyze effectiveness, and adjust the campaign accordingly to achieve and maintain top rankings against active competitors and substantial algorithm changes.

There are Plenty of Fish in the Sea

Link building and management is an important aspect to the total optimization campaign. Optimizing your site without considering your link campaign is like trying to drive a car without tires. You don’t need great tires to make the car move forward, but you have to have some kind of tires in place, unless you’re towing your car on a flatbed truck. Same holds true for a web site, it can be a great site but without links you just won’t perform in the natural search results. (Just to complete the analogy, we can say that sponsored ads and off line marketing efforts are the flatbed truck.)

Linking has gotten more and more complex as the search engines fight link spam and seek to improve relevance. Whether you seek out one-way or reciprocal links, linked articles or directory submissions, or “authority” links, link building is a very time consuming process that undergoes constant re-evaluations. A good link today may not be a good link tomorrow, not because it was never a good link but because the linking site might become irrelevant to the search engines or become a search spammer, or whatever reason. A good half to two-thirds of the monthly man-hours assigned to ongoing optimization can easily be focused specifically on the link campaign.

Look at Both Sides of the Coin

Unless you are targeting no more than a single phrase for any given page of your site, inevitably it will take some finesse to achieve top rankings for all phrase being targeted. Good keyword research in the set-up process can greatly improve the ability to archive top rankings for multiple phrases per page, but no matter what there will always be certain elements working against each other. Adjust one phrase here and another one drops. Adjust that phrase and still another phrase drops.

With time, a good SEO will be effective at getting your keywords ranked well against the competition. That’s half the battle. The rest comes as new or existing competitors amp up their optimization efforts in order to take back what was achieved and as search engines adjust their algorithms. We’ve all heard of sites losing rankings with algo adjustments, even those that have never spammed. It happens and its the job of the SEO to see these things coming and adjust the site accordingly and should rankings dip, to move in and get them back in place.

Wait with Baited Breath

Again, this is just scratching the surface of what goes into the monthly optimization campaign. But all of these adjustments work over time. Even more so once you consider “sandboxing” and “aging delays” that are becoming a staple in the search engine algorithms.

If You’re Not Part of the Solution, You’re Part of the Problem

Don’t expect instant results with your optimization campaign. Many SEOs require a six or twelve month contract, simply because they know it can often take that much time to show solid results for all of your keywords. Expecting great results any sooner is simply wishful thinking.

We all heard the saying, “A watch pot never boils.” Well, in reality, it’ll take the same amount of time to boil as an unwatched pot, but it just seems longer because you’re there looking at it. Once you hire your SEO company, let them do their job and walk away. Don’t completely forget about them and check in from time to time just so you know what’s going on (and your SEO knows that you expect results), but just give it time for the process to work.

Go work on your site, your business and other marketing efforts. While your SEO is working to make your site successful in the search engines, look for other ways to bring success to you and, to use another cliché’; don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Search engine optimization should not be your only hope for success.

If you have done your research and chosen the right SEO company success will come, but only with time. Be willing to let the process work its course and good things will come… by the boatload.

Stoney deGeyter is president of Pole Position Marketing (www.PolePositionMarketing.com), a search engine optimization / marketing firm providing SEO and website marketing services since 1998. Stoney is also a part-time instructor at Truckee Meadows Community College, as well as a moderator in the Small Business Ideas Forum. He is the author of his E-Marketing Performance eBook and contributes daily to the E-Marketing Performance (www.eMarketingPerformance.com) marketing blog. (ab)

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Fat Burning Foods That Burn Fat Fast

Author: Junk Cars Cash

October 28, 2010

Victoria, I am so confused… I have no idea what to eat any more. With all the diet information out there right now, I don’t know what to do. I just want to know what to eat to burn fat fast?
- Caroline R.

Caroline, I am so excited about your question. If you have ever struggled with dimply junk on the back of your legs and butt, then just take your time and soak up every word in this article. There are many gems that you can take away and begin today to start smoothing out that rocky road.

Your question reminded me of the time when I was getting ready for a fitness championship and I had a total melt down. I was looking good, so I thought. I was so excited because I had been posing at home in my bathroom mirror and I just could not wait to see how my much better the definition in my muscles would be under “posing lights” at the gym. Posing lights are special lights that are designed to make your muscles look more cut, defined and striated. Those are bodybuilding terms for looking “HOT and BUFF”!

I gathered up my swimsuit, posing oil and a scrunchie to pull back my hair so that it would not cover up one beautiful striation of hard earned muscle.

I went to the gym I was training at that had a perfect set of posing lights installed by the head trainer, a NPC Body Building champion.

Ok, I get to the gym, run in the women’s locker room, put on my skimpy competition posing suit and oiled myself up. I slipped into a comfy robe to cover myself as I walked across the gym to the room we used for posing. I confidently took off my robe and gracefully walked across the room as if I was walking on stage. I believe that we should always be “on” and rehearsing in our mind and with our body what we want to be.

I walked to center stage, did a customary quarter turn to face the mirror, which was my private audience, and stood in prejudging form. My first reaction was, “sweet, I look awesome”. I hit some poses and did a few dance moves to try out my suit. Then I did my rear lat spread facing the back of the room. In this room you could see yourself from every angle because it had a three way mirror effect and that’s when the horror hit me.

AAAAHHHHH! I was so lean, so cut and so perfectly symmetrical in every direction and at every angle except when I turned around there were these horrific little dimply dents, cellulite, as we women have come to refer to it, on MY PERFECT BODY!

I was so upset, I broke out into tears, grabbed my robe, ran back into the locker room and threw on my sweats I wore on the way over to the gym. I did not even bother to take off all the oil I had on and my sweats became an oily mess which then made my car seats a spotted mess. I did not care one bit about my clothes or my car. I could buy some more sweats and I could buy a new car if I wanted to, but I had to do something fast to get those dimples off the back of my thighs and butt. I only had two weeks to get contest ready.

I called an associate I knew and asked her for help. She gave me a referral to a nutrition scientist in Arizona. I made a distress call immediately and he promptly began to tell me about certain foods that help your body go into a positive fat burning state and he also told me how some of the foods would act as a diuretic and help me lose trapped body water under my skin to make my body appear more lean and less dimply.

YES, there is a God in Heaven and He answers prayers I thought. I took copious notes and then… do you know that he actually sent me a mini diet plan written on a piece of notebook paper. Not a science manual, not a registered FDA document, or a two hundred page book like most people sell today. It was almost illegible because like many scientists and health professionals they scribble when they write.

Well the plan not only worked, it was amazing how fast my body responded to the foods I began eating and I ended up winning my competition!

So… that plan that I received years ago, that worked wonders for me, is what I am going to share with you today.

Now keep in mind, I am not a scientist. I am a published author, professional trainer of certification programs for fitness trainers and a top selling DVD Celebrity Fitness Personality. I am all of the above but the most important attribute I am teaching you with today is, I am an ex-fat person who was over sixty pounds heavier who had cottage cheese thighs and dimply butt… and now it’s gone! I bring you today my personal experience as I share with you what I have found.

FOODS THAT HELP BURN FAT FAST

Thermic Effect Principle

Foods have a thermic effect. The term “thermic effect of food” is used to describe the energy expended by our bodies in order to eat and process (digest, transport, metabolize and store) food. We expend energy by living which is metabolic functioning, breathing, working, exercising and anything else that uses muscular contractions. This is what causes your body to burn calories. Excess fat in your body is actually stored energy, whether it is on your belly or on your legs and butt. It’s fat, energy, and it has to be burned and removed in order to remove those dimples. So remember, your not fat, you just have a lot of extra energy!

This is so amazing! Processing protein requires the greatest amount of energy. Estimates range as high as 30% above your resting metabolic rate. Dietary fat, on the other hand, is so easily processed and turned into body fat that there is little thermic effect, perhaps only 2 or 3% above your resting metabolic rate. The amount of energy required to process carbohydrates falls between that of protein and fat. A range of around 10% is usually used to account for the thermic effect of food you eat.

Most of us have never heard about thermic effect of food so we just grab whatever is convenient when we are hungry

Protein causes your body to burn hotter which helps you burn more calories. So now that we know that, we have to choose the best protein sources to keep our furnace burning hot and strong all day long.

Choose low-fat protein sources

Meat, poultry and fish along with egg whites and egg substitutes are some of your best sources of protein. But be careful to choose lower fat options, such as grilled or baked, not fried or breaded. Choose milk such as skim milk rather than whole milk and always select skinless chicken breasts rather than fried chicken patties.

Fish is another good alternative to high-fat meats. Some types of fish – such as cod, tuna and halibut – have less total fat, saturated fat and cholesterol than do meat and poultry. And certain types of fish are heart healthy because they’re rich in omega-3 fatty acids. These fats may help lower blood fats called triglycerides and may reduce your risk of sudden cardiac death. Omega-3 fats are most abundant in fatty, cold-water fish, such as salmon, mackerel and herring.

Catabolic Foods

Catabolic foods burn up more calories than they supply. Catabolic foods are the opposite of Anabolic foods. For example a medium sized apple (which is catabolic), would provide an average of 85 calories, however your metabolism would require an additional 99 more calories to metabolize it. As a result, you burn more calories than you are ingesting for a overall net loss.

To help maintain your weight it is helpful to eat a minimum of ten servings of catabolic foods each day. In addition to catabolic foods you can eat proteins and other carbohydrates in moderation without gaining weight.

High grade catabolic foods are more effective than others. It is best to spread the consumption of your catabolic foods over the course of the whole day. You can eat these items to your heart’s delight. You don’t have to go around counting calories or skimping on volume and quantity with theses catabolic foods. I like to combine my proteins from my list above with the vegetables listed below for my meals and then for my snacks I go to town on the fruits and vegetables listed below. I also drink two to three quarts of water per day to keep flushing my system.

HIGH GRADE CATABOLIC FOODS

FRUIT:
Black/Blueberries
Grapefruit
Oranges
Plums
Strawberries
Lemons
Raspberries
Limes
Pineapple
Cantaloupe
Oranges
Watermelon
Pears-Bartlett

VEGETABLES:
Artichokes
Parsley leaves
Asparagus
Cucumbers
Peppers
Tomato
Broccoli
Eggplant
Celery
Sweet Potato
Radishes
Zucchini
Brussels Sprouts
Leeks – cooked
Spinach
Carrots
Lettuce

There you go, this is the beginning of the entire process that can help you burn fast faster. It is enough to get you started today on your journey to a whole new you.

God Bless and make it the Best Week Ever!

Victoria

Victoria Johnson is a Fitness Celebrity and Life Coach with over 23 Video/DVD Titles and her best selling Quick Start Energy Program. Visit her web site at http://www.victoriajohnson.com to sign up for her free weekly email newsletter full of all the latest insider celebrity diet secrets!

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House Sale in Limerick

Author: Junk Cars Cash

October 26, 2010

Take a Cold Look at Your House

Whether in Limerick, or anywhere else for that matter, every house seller wants his/her house to sell quickly and at the highest price. The way to achieve this is through careful planning, knowing how to professionally enhance your house, and, just as importantly, developing an unemotional view of it. Once you decide to sell, you need to treat your house as a product that can make money for you, not as a home. Concentrate on the fact that soon this house will no longer be yours. Don’t look backwards, look towards the future. The reason you want to make your house appear as an anonymous showhouse is because you want buyers to view it as their potential home. Potential buyers can imagine themselves living in it, without being reminded of anyone else’s involvement in the house.

Remove as many personal possessions as possible from view. Pack up those personal items and family photographs. Buyers can’t see beyond someone else’s personal belongings, and you don’t want them to be distracted. Make it as easy as possible for buyers to imagine themselves living in the house. You want potential buyers to be able to say to themselves: ‘I can see myself living here.’ Get rid of clutter and junk.

Pricing Your House

Once you have decided to sell your house, you obviously want to get as much money as possible for it. It’s very easy to get caught up in the excitement over choosing a sales price. More money means you can afford to buy a more expensive house, buy a new car or treat yourself to a long overdue holiday.

But in reality, it doesn’t matter how much money YOU think your house is worth. The only person whose opinion really does matter is the buyer who makes you an offer.

Putting a value on any house is part art and part science. It involves comparing similar properties in your area of Limerick, allowing for the differences among them, tracking market changes and taking account of how many houses similar to yours are for sale. All this information is needed come up with a range of values, an educated opinion. This method is the same way a valuer decides how much your house is worth. And no two valuations are ever exactly the same; however, they are generally close to each other. In other words, there is no hard and fast price tag to put on your house. It’s only an educated guess and, no matter what figures are suggested, it’s the market that will dictate the price. If your house is dramatically above the going market price, few people will waste time viewing it. Their time is better spent previewing houses that are priced realistically.

Photographing Your Property

Try to take the exterior photos of your property in the middle of the day when the sun is shining and try to get a blue sky background. Remember, you can replace the images you have placed with your property advertisements, so if you take a better photo later, you can still include it.

For outside shots of the front and back of your house, put away rubbish bins and remove anything that will distract from the view of your house. Remove any cars from the driveway, and try not to include telephone poles, wires and other houses in the scene. Trim your photos so that potential buyers can concentrate on your house.

For apartments, include shots of amenities in the area. For all properties, you should include photos of scenery that may interest potential housebuyers.

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